


meditations in an emergency

by icygrace



Category: Olympics RPF, Sports RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-17 15:54:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1393573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icygrace/pseuds/icygrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hospital should have a wing named after them. Or three times a member of their family had to go to the ER.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the book of the same name. This first part’s lighter than the rest.

_July 2022 – Gainesville, FL_

 

Michael rubs Ollie’s arm, jiggling his leg anxiously. They’ve been waiting _forever_ for a doctor. At least Ollie’s been pretty calm about the whole thing for a kid who _almost cracked his head open_.

 

And that thought makes him jump up. “Sit with Ols for a second, won’t you, Bean?” Lo sits down and starts distracting Ollie with a stream of chatter Michael’s not even going to try to follow as he moves next to Ryan. “This is why you don’t take a little kid fu – effing _skateboarding_!” he hisses under his breath.

 

Ryan retorts just as quietly. “He could’ve gotten hurt doing something else! Remember when Charlie fell out of the tree? Could’ve been Ollie, so don’t start –”

 

“Yeah, but that time they were alone –”

 

“Your fault, by the way –”

 

He seethes at the memory. They’re 8 and it’s not like they were in the pool. He went inside for _one fucking minute_ and got the reaming out of his _life_ from Missy – Missy! – after Ryan ratted him out. “Yeah, it took all of ten seconds for them to hatch a harebrained scheme that would make Daddy proud,” he mocks.

 

“Don’t –”

 

“You’d think he’d be safer with an adult, but I guess being with you isn’t exactly –”

 

“You know what, why don’t you fuck –”

 

“ _Daddy_!”

 

They must’ve been going louder than they realized, if Lo’s exclamation and the tears rolling down Ollie’s cheeks are anything to go by. _Fuck_.

 

And just then the doctor walks in.

 

\---

 

The extremely attractive E.R. doctor who once shot Nathan down for a date. Hilarious, because she was one of the few women Nathan – he of the many, many dates – had actually asked out himself.

 

“I always like getting couples,” she tells them conversationally once she’s finished stitching Ollie up.  

 

“Why?”

 

“The men don’t hit on me. It’s nice. Two men? Even better. Definitely won’t hit on me.”

 

“Well, it’s more like we know you –”

 

“ _Ryan_ ,” Michael hisses.

 

“Know what?” she asks, sounding amused.

 

“You, uh, you’re more into the ladies.”

 

She laughs. “We’ve only just met. Do I just give off a vibe my fellow LGBTQ folk can identify?”

 

“Nope. A friend of ours asked you out once.”

 

“Hmm. Can’t say I’ve been asked out recently,” she says, waving her left hand so they see the band after she washes up.

 

“Nah, it was years ago. He like works here now, but he mentioned it when we were here ‘cause his son broke his arm –”

 

“Falling out of a tree?”

 

“That’s it.”

 

She laughs. “Ah. Now I know who you mean. He’s a great guy. I’m glad things worked out for him.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, then, just a few things to tell you for Ollie. He can shampoo, but avoid the area and pat it – very carefully – dry after he’s done. Keep an eye on it for signs of infection. If everything’s clear, you’ll just have to bring him back to have the stitches out, since they’re not the dissolving kind.”

 

Michael’s listening intently to the directions, but Ryan’s attention’s is on the kids. Ollie’s fine, laughing at whatever face Lo’s making at him from behind them.

 

It’s all good, pretty much.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan’ll beat down the Grim Reaper with his old skateboard if he has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to ask for feedback/kudos/comments, etc., but it would be great to know if/that there are people still reading and still interested in these stories, because there is more stuff I could post . . .
> 
> (And my bad for not posting another part for 3+ years . . .)

_Saturday, May 1, 2038 – Gainesville, FL_

 

He’s scared.

                                                                                                                 

He can’t lose Michael – it’s way too soon, they’re supposed to get old together and terrorize the kids . . .

 

You’d think it’d be him – he’s a year older, he’s the one with high cholesterol. He _wishes_ it was him, he hates seeing Michael like this . . .

 

Is it selfish to think Michael could handle it better, would take care of things, if it was him on the stretcher instead? Would’ve actually remembered to bring insurance and ID and could answer questions like “does he take any medication or supplements?” Would’ve had his phone charged all the way up so he could actually call the kids right away instead of having to beg a nurse to borrow her charger? Would’ve known what to tell the kids? Would know if he wanted him to call the kids at all?

 

He’s lucky he got it together to call 911.

 

\---

 

No. He knows what Michael would want, would tell him, would demand (because Lo’s got finals in two days and it’s not like swimming ever really stops for Oliver, there’s Santa Clara coming up) but Lo will scream the house down if Ryan doesn’t tell her and Oliver and she finds out later, and Oliver –

 

Plus Michael’s a hypocrite, because even though he would tell Ryan not to call if he could, he wouldn’t think twice before calling if he’d been the one to look up and see Ryan grabbing at his chest like somebody just shot him.   

 

\---

 

He calls Oliver first. “Ols, um – I know it’s late, but um –”

 

“Pop?” Oliver sounds sleepy. It’s 5 AM in Florida and 2 AM in Cali by the time Ryan knows anything for sure about how Michael’s doing. Oliver has practice in 4 hours. “What’s the matter?”

 

“Your dad, uh –” He stumbles a little.

 

“Dad what?”

 

“He’s OK now, but he, um, he had a, uh, a heart attack a few hours ago.”

 

“Dad _what_? What happened? How? Like what do you mean OK? Are you sure?” Oliver doesn’t take a breath between words.

 

“Yeah, like the doctors finally talked to me and –”

 

“Finally? What the hell, their asses better be giving you a report every 5 _minutes_ –”

 

“Don’t be a brat,” Ryan interrupts, but without any real bite to it. He said the same thing to Michael whenever they brought the kids to the ER – Oliver lots of times, like when he pretty much cracked his head open skateboarding and – 

 

“You guys give so much to Shands, the least they can –”

 

“Oliver –” Truth is, Ryan had used up his _you like our money, don’t you?_ card on getting to see Michael once he was resting, because even though Michael was sleeping and couldn’t know he was there, it made _him_ feel better to see Michael, because even if Michael was in a hospital bed and pale and there were wires and everything everywhere, he looked relaxed, almost like he was just home in bed sleeping, not scared and in pain like the last time Ryan saw him a few hours before.

 

“And like, a few hours ago and you only called now? Like I could’ve _left_ already, Pop, seriously –” Oliver’s gonna hyperventilate if he doesn’t take a fucking breath.

 

No swim meet – no trials, not even the Olympics –, no _anything_ has made Oliver flip the fuck out as bad as he is right now. Well, except for –

 

He shakes his head. It’s not like that, not this time. “He’s stable, like I didn’t even know if I should call, he’s gonna be really mad at me when he wakes up, ‘cause your –”

 

“Fuck, he could’ve _died_.” Oliver’s voice rises and cracks a little bit.

 

He should be telling Oliver not to swear, but he doesn’t have the energy right now.

 

“You better not let him fucking die on me, Pop, I’d bring him back just t’ kill him for scaring the shit out of –”

 

“He’s gonna be fine, Gator, I promise, he’s not gettin’ rid of me that easy.”

 

( _Til death do us part_.

 

Not fucking yet.

 

Ryan’ll beat down the Grim Reaper with his old skateboard if he has to.)

 

“Sorry, Pop, just gimme –” Oliver sounds muffled all of a sudden. “Yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, it’s Pop, Dad – Dad had a heart attack. No, Pop says he’s OK, but like – I’m gonna – yeah, let me – thanks, yeah, I’ll tell you when I get off. Sorry Pop, Charlie heard me and like – he’s gonna look me up a flight, he said did you call his mom, like she’ll wanna help if you guys need anything and –”

 

“I didn’t even – like I didn’t call anybody, I just like –” He couldn’t even think of anything, but – yeah, Michael won’t want him to make a big deal because Debbie will freak out and they shouldn’t be getting her upset, but Michael’s sisters will definitely want to know and probably fly out, so he can’t not call them and then there’s everybody else . . .

 

“You, uh, you gonna call Lo or you want me –?”

 

He has to. Finals or no finals, Lo will want to see Michael for herself. Not even Facetime would be enough. “I got it.”

 

\---

 

He calls the rest of the family later that morning, but asks them to wait before coming to visit, because he’s not sure they’ll even let the twins in and even if they do, having a lot of people around might be too much so soon.

 

The nurse on duty frowns when the twins get there in the early afternoon and tells them only one person can see Michael at a time as soon as the three of them break apart from their hug, but Ryan just glares at her until she gets the head nurse, who says, “one person besides you, of course, Mr. Lochte.”

 

Michael probably would’ve gotten both kids in if it was him.

“But only a few minutes each.”

The twins look at each other and it’s one of those times Ryan thinks they read each other’s minds because Lo speaks for both of them. “Oliver can go first.”

 

“I’ll be out quick so you can –” Oliver says over his shoulder.

 

\---

 

Michael’s actually awake now and his color’s better than before.

 

Ryan selfishly wishes he’d come alone first, because there’s things you just can’t say in front of your kids, but Oliver’s right behind him, so he just takes the chair closest to the bed and takes Michael’s hand (it isn’t cold and clammy anymore, just a bit cooler than usual), to remind himself Michael’s for real, he’s there, and it’s gonna be OK.

 

Oliver hesitates, staring at Michael with wide eyes from the door. “Dad?”

 

“Don’t bite,” Michael hints hoarsely.

 

Oliver comes closer. He looks at Michael, still not saying anything until he swipes at his eyes with a fierce look that just dares them to say anything about it before wordlessly throwing his arms around Michael as best he can.

 

Wisely, in Ryan’s opinion, they don’t.

 

Oliver carefully sits in the other chair, a little embarrassed, when he’s done. “You could’ve just called if you wanted us to come home so bad.”

 

Michael _laughs_ and Ryan’s so _relieved_ until he wonders whether laughing is OK, if it’s bad for you after a heart attack. Maybe he should get the nurse . . .

 

\---

 

When it’s Lo’s turn, she doesn’t say much. At first, after she kisses Michael’s forehead, she just sits and holds his hand so tight that Ryan worries about his circulation and puts his hand over hers to pry her fingers a little looser.

 

Eventually Michael asks her about her finals.

 

He should’ve known.

 

“They’ll be fine, I aced them last semester and they’ll let me make up anything I miss.”

 

“You’re not missing anything,” Michael insists.

 

“Dad –”

 

“You came, you saw me, I’m fine –” Michael coughs, which doesn’t help his case.

 

Ryan grabs the glass of water with the straw by the bed and holds it for him.

 

Michael takes a sip before continuing. “You can go back tonight –”

 

“ _Tonight_?”

 

“In the morning,” Ryan jumps in, tilting Michael’s straw a little more.

 

Michael gives him an annoyed look.

 

Ryan can just hear him saying _I’m not a baby._ “You just had a heart attack,” he retorts like Michael had actually said the words out loud before turning his attention back to Lo. “You can come back and see him again before you go to the airport.”

 

Lo looks just as annoyed as her father and, not for the first time, Ryan thinks that somewhere somebody’s laughing at him.

 

\---

 

He convinces the kids to go get something to eat by telling them he wants them to bring something back for him and they’re finally alone.

 

“I’m sorry about before,” he says in a rush. It ate him until Michael woke up, the possibility that _Just leave me alone, Mike!_ might be the last thing Michael ever heard from him.

 

“It’s OK.”

 

“I’m so glad you’re OK.”

 

“Me too,” Michael says wryly.

 

“You scared me.”

 

“You think I’d let you cash the life insurance so soon?”

 

It’s an old morbid joke of theirs, because life insurance is the least of what they have, but he’s not in the mood. “For fuck’s sake, it’s not funny, Mike,” he says, swiping at his eyes just like Oliver did before.

 

“I know it’s not,” Michael admits quietly, serious. “You know what they say about your life flashing in front of your eyes? I thought it was crap, but it’s true. I’m not ready to leave you guys.” _I love you._

 

“You better not.” _Love you, too._

 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” _Love you more_. Michael’s always been competitive.

 

“Good,” he says fiercely. _Love you most._ Ryan can be competitive as fuck when he wants to be. He squeezes Michael’s hand even tighter than Lo did before.

 

“Not goin’ ‘where,” Michael mumbles sleepily later. “Love you t’much.”

 

“Love you, too.”

 

Michael’s hand relaxes in his as he drifts off to sleep.

 

\---

 

Oliver says he’ll stay the night and Lo says she will, too, even after Ryan tells them that he’s probably the only one allowed anyway and they need their sleep.

 

Swimmers always need their sleep. And Lo was wide awake, still working, when he called to tell her about Michael. If Ryan knows her at all, she’s probably been pulling all-nighters, no matter how much they nag her not to.

 

The doctor interrupts them to go over some test results with Ryan, so the kids go visit with Michael for a little bit.

 

Ryan’s just happy the tests look OK.

 

\---

 

Later the kids con him into going home for the night. Only one of them gets to stay and Oliver insists that he’ll do it.

 

“Have you slept at all since they brought Dad in?” He hasn’t. He hasn’t slept in at least 48 hours. Maybe 72. No, 48. He had a nap at one point.

 

\----

 

Ryan’s working around the clock on his new line because he’s way behind schedule.  

 

In the middle of the night, for a third time, Michael comes down to his office; he’d already tried to get him away from his sketches and into bed twice before.

 

Ryan shakes his head, not even bothering to look up, but Michael doesn’t take the hint. Impatient with the nagging, he finally snaps, “Just leave me alone, Mike!” Then he hears Michael gasp for air and looks up to see him grabbing at his chest.

 

\---

 

And now here they are.  

 

“Two, how long before that was your last shower? You reek.”

 

“No, I _don’t_.”

 

“And three, do you really want Lo driving your car without your supervision?” Oliver tries to joke.

 

The last thing he wants to do is leave Michael, but if Lo’s actually going to listen to them and go home to sleep . . .

 

Lo begrudgingly agrees.

 

\---

 

Lo snatches the keys out of his hand when they get to the parking lot. “I’ve got this.”

 

He raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“You know I’ve gotten a little better at driving since high school and at least I’ve had _some_ sleep in the last 48 hours.”

 

“Really? When?”

 

“On the plane.”

 

“You mean you didn’t try to study more?” That doesn’t sound like her, not now. When they were all kicked out of Michael’s room so he could rest, Oliver pulled some flashcards out of her purse and started quizzing her for lack of anything better to do to keep his mind off things. She went along with it. 

 

“Too nervous to study. Too nervous to sleep, too, but at least that I could fix with Nyquil.”

 

He considers reminding her that you’re not supposed to use Nyquil to help you sleep.

 

She starts the engine and pulls out. It’s silent for a few minutes after they’re down the main road. “Are you OK, Daddy?”

 

He’s about to say yes because Michael’s going to get better and because that’s what he always says, but their kids aren’t little kids anymore. “No, not really. Like I know he’s gonna be OK, but not yet.”

 

She squeezes his hand.

 

“Both hands on the steering wheel.”

 

\---

 

He’s heading to check on Lo when he hears her talking.

 

“I didn’t know what to expect. Dad – like he’s never – I was so _scared_.” After a long while, Lo sniffs. “I know he’s going to be OK, like seriously, he was even _scheming_ before – No, not like _evil_ –” She huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “C’mon. It was just to get Daddy to come home and sleep, that’s the only reason _I_ came home, Dad asked me to so Daddy would, but –”

 

Typical Michael. That’s too much of a good sign for Ryan to get too mad that he played them both. Ryan was pretty sure that’s what was going on in the first place and he sort of kind of let Michael do it, because it would make him feel better, more in control. That doesn’t mean he won’t be back as early as possible and he doesn’t plan to leave again until Michael’s home, no matter what else Michael says.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. Thanks. Yeah, I’ll text you my flight info when I’ve got it. I’ll try. And I’ll call you in the morning.” Her voice softens, still a little teary. “Love you too.”

 

“Lo?”

 

He can hear her sniff again. “Yes?”

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Sure.” She swipes at her eyes like Oliver and he pretends not to notice now, too.

 

“Thought you might want some cookies.” They’re her favorite.

 

“It’s warm. Like fresh warm, not microwave warm,” she says suspiciously after she bites into one. “You’re supposed to be resting.”

 

“You can take these back with you.”

 

“Daddy.”

 

“I couldn’t.” Without Michael, he really couldn’t sleep in their room. It feels empty and cold and _wrong_. He’s realized a lot of things in the past 24 hours and one of them is that he’s selfish enough to hope he goes first when the time comes (many, many years from now). He’s hated this preview of life without his husband.

 

“Me neither,” Lo admits, rubbing her temple. “You want to come in here?”

 

He sits down on the other side of her bed. “Head hurt?”

 

“Just tired.”

 

He knows she hates taking anything for pain, even when she needs it, so he insists. “I got Advil.” They always do, just in case. She still gets headaches sometimes. “You’ll have a hard time falling asleep if your head hurts and your flight leaves early and we’re going back to the hospital before that –”

 

She screws up her nose. “Do I have to leave? I really don’t want to. I _shouldn’t_ , I really –”

 

“He won’t let you in his room if you stay.” He would eventually, because she’s just as stubborn as he is and he can’t be tough with her forever, but Ryan can’t tell her that.

 

“Daddy –”

 

It’s for her own good and Michael’s, too. He’d worry too much if she stayed. “ _Lo_. You can come back as soon as you’re done, all right?”

 

“That’s forever.”

 

Ryan just gives her a _Look_. She’s silent until he says, “It’s what he wants. He’ll stress if you don’t and that’s the last –”

 

“Fine.” She sighs. “And I’ll take one.”

 

Everyone says Lo’s a daddy’s girl and it’s true, but really she might be Dad’s girl even more.


End file.
